Is Your Surfing Habit Getting You into Trouble with Your Significant Other?

New Zealand

sofia aldinio

Learn some communication tips from a partner who doesn't surf on how to manage your surfing habit.

Have you ever came across what some may refer to as a conflict of interest in regards to planning your epic family holiday destination? 

Well I can tell you about our family experience and how we deal with it. Last year we went to New Zealand on our first long adventure with our son. We decided to buy a truck and visit all of our favorite spots from past trips. When we were going through the map I realized 90% of the spots that my partner had marked with an X were surfing spots. I mean I like to surf, but I'm more of a white water surfer these days, while he will follow the swell. And in NZ the swell isn't very beginner friendly. 

If you have a boyfriend, brother, partner, friend or if you are a surfer yourself, you'll know that when the waves are on, forget about it.


Knowing all this, inside me I knew if we didn't set up any boundaries ahead a time, the trip was going to be a catastrophe. 

If you're a surfer and your partner is not, my advice is:

  • Let her/him know the waves are going to be pumping the next day and that you would like to go surfing and you'd also like to do something with her or him. You can also suggest going surfing together after your surf session.
  • Make sure she/he also gets time for her/himself to do whatever they love to do. 
  • Be aware that you are on a holiday with somebody that doesn't think about surf 24/7.
  • Make time for doing something together that you are both into at the same level.

If you're the partner that doesn't love surf:

  • It is ok. Life goes on. 
  • Understand that waves, wind and tides may only be good for a short window - likely the morning or evening and missing the optimal window may drive your partner nuts. 
  • Know that if he/she gets his time surfing in, most likely he/she will be a much happier and better partner. 
  • Make sure to express how you want to be spending your time as well. 

At the end of the day, it is not only about balancing each others' needs but also enjoying your holiday together, as a couple or family.

Published: February 9, 2018

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