10 Ways I Like to Waste Time

Sort my climbing rack by frequency of use instead of size. How often do I end up placing that #4 Camalot anyway? This will revolutionize my trad climbing. Why has no one thought of this idea?

Search Mountain Project for Joshua Tree trad routes that won’t make me cry. Get sweaty hands looking at the beta on 5.6 routes. Consider going to Owens River Gorge instead.

Re-sort my climbing rack back to size order because frequency of use was a terrible idea. 

Watch climbing and biking videos on my laptop. Convince myself it’s somehow more wholesome than scrolling Instagram or Twitter. Do this for several hours.

Reorganize the apps on my phone. Think about deleting everything except Google Maps. Consider getting a flip phone from 2004. Talk myself out of it—I spent too much money on a smartphone not to use it to its fullest potential. Be sad I spent so much money on a smartphone.

Open MTB Project and be disappointed at the lack of trails near my house. Be disappointed at the lack of trails on MTB Project in general. Ask myself whether anyone from REI and MTB Project will ever read this.

Drive to the climbing gym. Half-ass a boulder problem, then sit on the mat and scroll instagram. Rest is important. Spend more time on my phone than on the wall. Go home. Regret my choices.

Peruse REI for deals on new gear. Refuse to admit to myself that I don’t need any new gear. Buy new gear. Regret my choices.

Ride my bike to go get tacos. They are so cheap and so good and so plentiful. Tell myself this is what I should do every time I want to waste time doing other things. Inevitably forget my own advice. Start again at #1.